Amy and Dick Ashworth were prominent allies and activists who became involved in the LGBTQ rights movement shortly after their son Tucker came out to them as gay in 1972.
The Ashworths were cofounding members of Parents of Gays, known today as PFLAG. Residents of Bronxville, N.Y., they also founded the Westchester chapter of the organization.
As per Amy’s obituary, “[i]n the 1970s and 1980s, Dick and Amy lobbied Congress for gay rights and appeared on national television shows such as Phil Donahue and Merv Griffin to talk about their personal experiences and encourage other families to embrace their gay children. For a time Amy hosted a gay community-themed talk show on New York cable television and, among many honors, was a 1992 recipient of the Stonewall Award, which recognizes individuals whose efforts have enhanced the quality of life for gay men and women.”
On March 11, 1973, the Ashworths attended the very first Parents of Gays meeting, held by Jeanne Manford at the Metropolitan-Duane Methodist Church in the Greenwich Village neighborhood of New York City. Today, a plaque stands in commemoration of the first meeting at the location where it was held.
Approximately 20 people attended this meeting, a group that would go on to form the national organization PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). Because the Ashworths remained involved with the group as it grew, they are considered cofounders of PFLAG.
(For more information on Jeanne Manford and the founding of PFLAG, visit Making Gay History.)
In 1977, while Dick Ashworth was working at a Wall Street law firm and Amy was working in a Westchester nursing home, the two spoke at a public White Plains Library event held by the Westchester Gay Men’s Association (WGMA). According to newspaper coverage of the event, the two discussed their experience coming to understand and accept their son’s sexual orientation, and called for other parents to do the same and actively fight homophobia.
There is so much prejudice against gays. We have to back our children. It’s easier not to, but somebody has to. And if we (as parents) don’t, who will?
Amy Ashworth, 1977, quoted in the newspaper The Herald Statesman
Amy Ashworth also appeared on Vito Russo’s 1983 NYC public access TV program “Our Time,” where she shared that the Westchester Parents of Gays chapter had grown to 45 people.
I thought I was the only mother — and in the suburbs you don’t talk about sex let alone [sexual orientation] … — so for me it was a revelation that 10% of the population was, is, will be, gay. And so [these parents] see [other] mothers — some a little submissive, some very bossy — but they see the happy mixture and realize what society has been telling us just isn’t so.
…
I must say that it is difficult. All of the sudden, everything society told you, you have to reevaluate. But for me, that makes for a much richer, more honest life. And I think, to the parents, love your children. They need you more than any other group. Because gay people are the only ones who don’t have the support of their families behind them. And so love your children, listen, and come to our meetings.
Amy Ashworth, 1983, “Our Time” Episode 5
Dick Ashworth died in 1998 and Amy in 2017. The two were predeceased by two of their three sons, Tucker and Eric, both of whom were gay and both of whom died of AIDS.
According to her obituary, Amy, a U.S. immigrant who once worked as a nurse in Nazi-occupied Amsterdam as a young woman, continued her activism following these heartbreaks. She established the Richard G. Ashworth Scholarship to assist gay youth in attending college; served as president of the New York chapter of PFLAG; and worked in hospice and at God’s Love We Deliver, where she prepared meals for those with HIV/AIDS. She is remembered fondly by a number of activists in an article by Gay City News writer Andy Humm.
Sources
“Amy Ashworth Obituary.” Ventura County Star (Camarillo, CA), April 9, 2017. https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/venturacountystar/name/amy-ashworth-obituary?id=15518742
Berman, Andrew. “Remembering Jeanne Manford and the Founding of PFLAG.” Off the Grid: Village Preservation Blog (blog), April 3, 2013. https://www.villagepreservation.org/2013/04/03/remembering-jeanne-manford-and-the-founding-of-pflag/
Jump, Frank H. “Willy Jump & Amy Ashworth [1924 – 2017] – PFLAG Moms from Nederland.” Fading Ad Blog (blog), January 26, 2009. https://www.fadingad.com/fadingadblog/2009/01/26/willy-jump-amy-ashworth-pflag-moms-from-nederland/
Russo, Vito, producer and co-host. Our Time. Season 1, episode 5, “Parents.” Directed by John Chiappardi. Aired March 2, 1983, WNYC. YouTube video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRFKBuKBGzo
Cirillo, Joan J. “Gay’s parents fight ‘homophobia.’” Mount Vernon Argus (White Plains, NY), May 21, 1977, 7. https://www.newspapers.com/image/902220483
Cirillo, Joan J. “Parents unite to battle for childrens’ gay rights.” Mount Vernon Argus (White Plains, NY), November 27, 1977, 69. https://www.newspapers.com/image/895208647
The Westchester LGBTQ+ History Project 
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